When we look at the situation of the Muslims today, we can find many problems that affect their family life...
When we look at the situation of the Muslims today, we can find many problems that affect their family life. This situation is a very dangerous problem that may lead to destruction of the Muslim family.
The dangerous results of that destruction will not only affect the spouses, but will affect the whole family and the community in general. This could mean the destruction of society and the failure to transmit Islam to the next generation.
And we can attribute this problem to many causes. These are the most important:
First: Ignorance of many Muslims of what the Muslim family should be according to the Islamic Laws.
Second: The influence of desires, selfishness, and un-Islamic customs and traditions over the behaviors of the members of the family.
Third: Many Muslims don’t care and don’t take this issue seriously until they reach to the point of divorce, or close to it.
Imam Al-Ghazali, was a specialist in treatment of bad conducts, and he came to a conclusion, after long research and experience, that the treatment of all misbehavior among the people will not come only by wishes, but by the use of medicine formed from two ingredients. The first one is knowledge and the second is the implementation of that knowledge. If either of these two are missing, this problem will not be cured. He also added that because the taste of most medicines is sour, the people don’t use it. Or if they use it, they will not complete the dosage. And who does not have enough patience to use the sour medicine, he will not reach the sweetness of the cure.
Today, we will start learning about the family in Islam:
Family is a small unit that consists of the husband and the wife, along with any children they may have. The husband and the wife are the fundamental unit of the family, and they play an important part in building, organizing and taking care of the family from the beginning to the end.
The society is made up of groups of families. So the families are the units of which the society consists. If these units are healthy and strong, the society will be healthy and strong. If these units are sick and weak, the society will be sick and weak.
From this we can understand the great interest and concern that Islam has in the family. That interest is genuine, unlike that which is represented by people running for office. During the voting seasons they use slogans and raise banners in political campaigns about the family for their own benefit. But later, when it is time to put that family issue into reality, all this interest is gone. We know many examples of this practice today.
The interest of Islam in the family is evident in the meticulous, comprehensive, system that runs the affairs of the family. This system starts even before the family is established through marriage, and continues after marriage. It clarifies all the diving rules and guidelines that clearly map out the rights, duties, and responsibilities of every individual in the family (parents and children).
When we say that the rules and guidelines are divine, we should understand the following:
1- The source is the divine revelation: Qur'an and the authentic Sunnah of the Prophet Mohammed (S.A.W.).
2- These divine rules are the correct and can not be false or have mistakes.
3- These divine rules are for all people and address all their needs.
4- They are fixed and cannot be changed or altered because of time and place.
Submitting to these rules and guidelines is obligatory without any hesitation even if they contradict with people's desires, minds or customs and traditions.
Not submitting to these rules and regulations and not implementing them is haram or forbidden. This rejection of Allah's laws, even part of them, leads to misguidance, sorrow, hardship in this life, and regret, loss and punishment on the Day of Judgment. Allah (S.W.T.) says in Surat Ta’ha, (Verses 124-126), what can be translated as, "But whosoever turns away from My Reminder (the Qur’an) verily, for him is a life of hardship, and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection. He will say: "O my Lord! Why have you raised me up blind, while I had sight before." Allah will say: " Like this Our Ayat (verses) came unto you but you disregarded them, and so this day, you will be neglected (from Allah’s Mercy.)"
I will try to present briefly the system of the family in Islam so that it will remind us and teach us how to correct our mistakes in our family life. So that our families will be Islamic ones, that please Allah, and we will be happy and successful in this life, and in the Hereafter.
Islam made the family one unit in the chain of units. This family relationship is self-collaborating, mutually coordinating, loving and merciful. These relationships do not know selfishness, oppression or hard feelings. It does not know arrogance, showing off, carelessness or aloofness, nor oppression, physical or emotional.
This view of Islam for the family is coming from the fundamental concepts that Qur'an presented for the family:
First: Qur'an puts in the mind of the spouses, the understand that the male and female are necessary for each other, and that they complement each other in their very existence. So it says to the man: The woman is a vital part of you, and one cannot live without a vital part. It also says to the woman: You came from a man, and he is your origin, and you cannot go on without your origin. The Qur'an says, in Surat Al-A`raf, (Verse 189), what can be translated as, "It is He Who has created you from a single person (Adam), and then He has created from him his wife (Eve).
Second: The Qur'an clarifies that the normal marital life is a life of unity between the spouses. Even though they are two entities, they are in reality one unit in everything; in emotions, feelings, and sleeping place. And they are unified when working for the present and when working for their hope of the future. Allah (S.W.T.) describes the nature of the marital life, in Surat Al-Baqarah, (Verse 187), what can be translated as, "They are Libas (clothes) (i.e. body cover, or screen or sakan), for you, and you are the same from them."
Imam Al-Qurtubi says, in interpreting these words: Wearing is established with clothing, and mingling of two spouses with each other is called clothing because they join together and mingle with each other and stick by each other just like clothes on the body.
Third: Qur'an emphasizes that this special unity between the spouses is one of the great signs of Allah (S.W.T.) and a blessing from his great blessings. Allah (S.W.T.) says in Surat Ar-room, (Verse 21), what can be translated as, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you wives from yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." Imam Ash-Shawkaani, in interpreting this verse, clarifies the nature of this special relationship between the two spouses. He says, "…that you may find rest in them…" means to feel comfortable with and be attracted to. One cannot feel comfortable but with the other and does not get attracted to anyone but to the other. "…And He has put between you mawadah and rahmah." means deep love and mercy because of marriage so that one will feel sympathetic with the other without any previous knowing of each other, or love or mercy between you; indeed a great sign from Allah!
