Darul Hadith Parenting: CCAC Family Management and Perenting4

Lesson: FOUR

Main Topics/Issues/ Points

Learning Outcome

Discussions: Main Ideas

Conflicts in Marriage

A marriage is where two from different background with their different outlooks and personalities try to unite in a single social unit. It is inevitable in this uniting process, that there will be some conflicts and confrontation as the lives intermesh.
Having conflicts in marriage life is normal. It brought about the natural differences of the couple. However, if the gravity and frequency of conflicts inside a marriage keeps on elevating to new heights, the risk of ending the marriage is always there.
Islam encourages the party to resolve conflicts in marriage in the best possible ways first before ending their marriage, (surah an-Nisa:35) “ and if you fear a breach between the husband and wife, appoint a hakam from his family if they shall desire a reconciliation Allah will cause them to agree” and Hadith “Of all things which have been permitted, divorced is the most hated things”

Steps to resolve conflicts in marriage

i. conciliatory committee [S. 47(5)-(17) of the IFLA], cases where application for divorce is filed by either a husband or wife, and there is reasonable possibility of a reconciliation.

ii. ii)Arbitration by Hakam [S.48(1)-(5) of the IFLA],cases where shiqaq between the parties are persisting. Thus it is for the court to investigate whether shiqaq in the marriage, whether there is any chance of reconciliation between the parties and whether steps have taken to effect reconciliation.

Repercussion of Merital conflicts;

· Personally

· Professionally

· Family

v Psychological and emotional

v Spiritual

v Moral and ethical

v Physical

v Financial

Types and dissolution og marriage

A. Talaq’

The legal method whereby a marriage is brought to an end. Jamal J Nasir defines Talaq’, “…is a dissolution of a valid marriage contract forthwith or at a later date by the husband, his agent or his wife duly authorized by him to do so, using the word talaq’, a derivative or synonym thereof”

Categories; a) Wajib

b) Haram

c) Makruh

d) Mubah

e) Mandub

Types; a) Talaq’ al- Ahsan

b) Talaq’ al- Hasan

c) Talaq’ Bid’at

Revocability; a) Talaq’ Raj’i

b) Talaq’ Ba’ain - Sughra

- Kubra

Pillars; a) Husband

b) Wife

c) Intention

d) The term denoting the divorce

[S. 47 of the IFLA]

B. Arbitration by Hakam

Hakam can order a divorce if it empowered by their respective principal.

[S.48 of the IFLA]

C. Ta’liq

Literally means to hang or suspense. The wife would be entitled to a divorce upon the breach of the condition said by the husband to his wife.

[S. 50/ 22 (1)/ 26 (2) of the IFLA]

D. Fasakh

Literally means ‘to annul a deed’ or rescind a bargain. The Qadi decrees it after the careful consideration of an application made to him by the wife. The Qadi if satisfied that the woman is prejudiced by a marriage, he will annul the marriage.

[S. 52 of the IFLA]

E. Khulu’

Just as Shari’ah provides for a husband to divorce his wife, the wife can also ask for divorce if sufficient grounds exist for it. Literally Khulu’ means to pull out or to remove. It refers to a method of divorce in which the wife seeks release from marriage by using the words Khulu’.

Refer to the story of Thabit Bin Qasim.

[S. 49 of the IFLA]

F. Li’an

Mutual imprecation comes into force when the accused the wife committed adultery or he deny his paternity of the child. The process of Li’an has been clearly shown in (surah al-Nur: 6-9)

“And for those who launch a charge against their spouse, and have in no support no evidence but their own, their solitary evidence can be received if they bear witness four times with an oath by Allah that they are solemnly telling the truth; and the fifth oath should be that they invoke the curse of Allah on themselves if they tell a lie. But it would avert the punishment from the wife, if she bears witness four times with an oath by Allah that her husband is telling a lie; and the fifth oath should be that she solemnly invokes the wrath of Allah on herself if her accuser is telling the truth.”

[S.50 A of the IFLA]

G. Presumption of death

If the wife thinks that her husband is dead or she has not heard or knows where is his about for more than four years, she has the right to apply to Shari’ah court to declare that her husband has dead.

[S. 53 of the IFLA]

H. Change of religion

Apostacy by one of the spouses brings an end to a valid marriage. However, that renunciation by either of the party by conversion to a different religion shall not by itself operate to dissolve the existing marriage unless the Shari’ah court confirms it.

[S.46/ S. 130 of the IFLA]